Sometimes you wonder how Alexa Chung got to the place where she thought an outfit would workNightmare. I’m in a wardrobe rut. I know this because I found myself, in the dog days of January, standing by the tumble dryer in my bra and pants, waiting for the cycle to finish so I could wear the same black top I’ve worn for the past three weeks. Nor could I get out of the same pair of trousers (hate all the others), the same jacket (it’s my friend), the same safe, flat boots (it’s cold, I’ve got to run to the station).
As you read this, London Fashion Week is happening across town, and the world’s most fashion-forward girlies are teetering around the tents in the spring/summer trends (leather shorts, anyone? Flippy skirt with unstructured top? Can you do luxe sportswear without looking like you’re going for a jog?), while simultaneously throwing themselves into next season as the autumn/winter catwalks appear before them. Minimalism, probably. Do keep up at the back.
Then you know you’re really stuffed when you see a picture of Alexa Chung in clogs, man’s shirt buttoned to the top, and some micro frayed denim thing going on round the pelvis, and instead of thinking, “Yup, loving that, taxi to Topshop,” you think, “What does she look like? How did she even get to that place where she thought that would work?”
Sometimes, fashion feels like a big old express train that you’re just not on — it zoomed through the station, you totally missed it and now you’re stuck on the platform with your 2008 heels and a rubbish bag that’s got “Noughties Excessive Consumption” written all over it. Feel like it’s over for you? Well, no, it’s not. Believe me: you can escape.
Hair As any stylist will tell you, if you need to get out of a rut, chop it off. They are three words that strike fear into any sane person’s heart, but go on, just try a couple of inches: takes years off.
Nails Paint ’em beige. Chanel’s Particulière is the colour of the season, but try something a bit pinker if that frightens you. It’s a pretty cheap way of getting your hands, at least, up to trend.
Lips Do red. Or pink, or orange. Suddenly, your black uniform has been updated.
Clothes Phone a friend, crack open a bottle and think Carrie moving out of her Manhattan flat before she marries Big. Bin, swap, recycle everything. If you’re in any doubt, bin it.
Style Do things you’ve never done before. Put a knit under a summer dress. Wear some woolly tights with your sandals. Roll up your trousers. Scrunch up your sleeves.
Finally, make a resolution not to get dressed in a hurry. Your aim is to be that alpha female who lays out her outfits for the whole week on a Sunday night. That can be you! And it will be fun! You will never put on yesterday’s clothes from the floor again!
There, you’re fixed. Happy fashion week.
